Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
"No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son.

There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married.... and then it was too late!"