Brides are often uncertain about which traditional practices to include in their weddings. One that often comes up is: "Should we have a "dollar dance" at the reception? " This is a dance during which each man who takes a turn around the floor with the bride pins money on her dress. This custom is growing in popularity in some parts of the United States.

Why Weddings?

Throughout history, marriage has symbolized a steadying force that ensures the continuation of society. Our most primitive ancestors recognized the fragility of human life as they faced a daily struggle for survival. In coming together as mates, they never took good fortune for granted. Recognizing their need for protection by - or perhaps from - someone or something greater than themselves, they made gestures of thanksgiving to their gods. If something they did seemed to produce favorable results or at least seemed to make them feel better, they did it again the next time they celebrated a marriage . . . and again the next time after that. In time, these symbolic actions and words became the rule. "This is what we always do. This is how we celebrate weddings." Let's look at some ancient nuptial customs that survive in some form today.

Brief History of the Most Common Wedding Customs

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• Throwing grains, such as rice or wheat, at the couple symbolizes the basic human desire for fertility (children), long life including health, jobs and careers, and bountiful harvests which means having financial security.
• Words spoken in sacred places express the hope for benevolence on the part of whatever spirits inhabit that place. In the modem religious experience, we would consider a church , chapel or synagogue the ideal place to call upon God to bless the union.
• Sounds of bells, the clinking of champagne glasses, tin cans dragging behind the “getaway” car are holdovers from the need to drive away “jealous spirits” that were thought to lurk at times of change.

Over the centuries , societies became more settled around stable communities of people who banded together for protection from enemies and the forces of nature. When basic survival needs were easily met , marriages took on a new focus of the love of the bride and groom. This change had a significant effect on the symbols that brides and grooms used to celebrate their love. Here are just a few examples.

• In the later Middle Ages (around the 14th or 15 th century), a European nobleman designed the first diamond ring for his new bride and presented it to her on their wedding day as an enduring symbol of his love. Since then, the diamond has been the gemstone most closely associated with marriage.
• Bridal showers became the custom, with brides receiving gifts from her family members and friends.
• The now-classic all-white wedding ensemble worn by the majority of modern brides dates back to 1840 when young Queen Victoria of England married the great love of her life, her cousin Albert. Theirs was a romantic and successful marriage. When Prince Albert died 21 years later, Victoria mourned him for the rest of her life.
  

The problem with traditions is that their original purpose and meaning sometimes gets lost in antiquity. A story might help illustrate this .

The problem with traditions is that their original purpose and meaning sometimes gets lost in antiquity. A story might help illustrate this .

A young wife was preparing a roast for her in-laws, whom she and her husband had invited over for the first time. Naturally, the young woman was anxious to do everything perfectly. Once, while having dinner at her fiance's in-laws' house, she'd noticed that her fiance's mother had cut away several inches of the meat before placing it in the roasting pan. So, she carefully cut off a portion of the roast before putting it in her pan. At the dinner, the new bride asked her mother-in-law why she always cut off a piece of the roast. “I'm not sure,” came the reply. “My mother always did it when I was growing up, so followed the custom. I never asked her why, but I'll call Mom tomorrow and find out.” The next day, when her mother-in-law called, the young bride detected a note of embarrassment in the older woman's voice. “Did you find out why?” the daughter-in-law asked. “Yes, and do feel foolish,” she replied. “The reason my mother cut off the end of the roast was that her roasting pan was too small.”

Knowing that customs may or may not have deeply thought-out origins and meaning, let's examine a few more marriage traditions.